I've learned that I should never regret anything. Roll with the punches. After years of disappointment I put up so many walls to keep people out I became cold and heartless. Any time someone got close to my heart I felt the vulnerability and put up another wall, pushing them away.
You are the first person who has been brave enough to not just stand idly on the other side of the wall. You didn't just climb over it. You are the only person who has ever tried to tear those walls down-and you've succeeded. That's what scares me the most. Without my walls I feel vulnerable.
I don't want to push you away. I don't want to keep you out. You are my everything. But for some reason I am still fighting my insecurities even though I know you would never hurt me. I know it from the deepest place in my heart. Why I said what I said I don't know. I don't believe it for a second. And I don't know how to make you understand what I feel inside.
I've never regretted anything in my life. Until now. I regret saying what I said because it hurt you. Hurting you has caused a pain I can't bare, its an emptiness, and I feel like I can barely breath. I love you so much. Can you forgive me again? I didn't mean to hurt you. I saw the words after I typed them and I felt like I would die. I hurts so much to know that I hurt you. I feel like you're silently broken and I have created this. So, please baby, stay with me, look into my eyes, and see I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
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